In 1995 I worked at a YMCA Summer Camp in the Pocono Mountains. I was 23 at the time and during the morning "circle time" we would always share a motivational story with the campers. I had the pleasure of sharing a story about how lobsters grow that has stuck with me for 30 years. This is a parable about how we look at stress.
A lobster is a soft, squishy animal, nestled inside of a rigid shell. That rigid shell does not expand. As the lobster grows inside the shell, that shell becomes very confining.
The lobster feels itself under pressure and uncomfortable and has to cast off its shell and produce a new one. It only takes about thirty minutes for the shell to fall off but for the new one to grow and harden can take between 14-30 days. During this time, the lobster is vulnerable. It goes under a rock formation to protect itself from predatory fish or to prevent itself from being washed into a pylon from a pier.
After the shell has hardened, the lobster re-emerges.
Well, eventually, that shell becomes very uncomfortable again as the lobster grows, so back under the rocks the lobster will go. And the lobster repeats this numerous times, as many as 25-30 times during the first seven years of life. Even after maturity, the lobster continues this molting process, albeit less frequently.
The stimulus for the lobster to be able to grow is that it feels uncomfortable. No only is a lack of comfort a trigger to growth there is great risk with growth and the lobster realizes growth must happen otherwise it will become stifled inside the shell and die.
Humans are really no different. We have all had a first (and in some cases, many) time - a job interview, a move, family change, new technology, environmental change, political upheaval, love, our first kiss etc. and that period of time was awkward, uncomfortable and riddled with anxiety and stress. We have to realize that times of stress are also times that are signals for growth. And if we use adversity and vulnerability properly, we too can grow.